Get to meet a Hero!

Nothing really exciting to tell today. I figured I'd better put something up to let my legion of readers know that I have not fallen off the face of the earth. (And there was great rejoicing.) I have been informed by "Chad" that from now on he wants to be referred to as B-Diddy. And so it shall be done.
I have not had an opportunity to put operation Annoy-the-entire-office-out-of-their-minds back into play since I haven't made it to the office early, or been able to stay late this week. Blame my wife, "Gracie", as she will be called to protect her identity. She has been sick the past 2 days, running fever, sore throat, etc. So, I have been responsible for getting the kids to school and barely making it to work on time, much less early enough to plant the Annoy-a-Tron again.
Maybe tonight or in the morning, but without a doubt the insanity shall begin again on Monday.
We're traveling to a foreign country (Waco, TX) to visit with my bro., "Posh" (no relation to any Spice Girl), and his fiancee, "Batman" (both names changed, of course) and for one of her multitude of wedding showers. I get to meet one of my many heroes, Larry Northern (name not changed to protect the "innocent").
I'm bored with typing for now. I'll not post again until I have annoyed someone.

My son is truly "of" me

While waiting in line to drop off my son today I found out that he is without a doubt my son. We were about 10th in line to drop off at the front door of the school so, as usual, he took off his seat belt and was leaning forward on the armrest between the front seats. He pointed forward and asked, "What is that for?"
"What?" I asked.
"That thing that says 'REAR'."
"Oh, that turns on the REAR WIPER." I say, nonchalantly.
A few seconds go by, and then he starts to giggle.
A few more seconds go by, then I start to giggle.
We decided if we could invent one of those for the bathroom, we'd be millionaires.
Yeah, he's mine all right.
****
Annoy-a-tron still off. Waiting for the right time to re-activate.

TGIF is so cliche

No beeps or chirps Wednesday or Thursday, and I'm pretty sure we won't hear any today. I just have that feeling.
Jolie- the secretary from prior posts, is thoroughly convinced that the beeps were coming from a telephone. She says she "cleared them all out" so that they didn't have some symbol on them, and the beeps stopped. That was Tuesday, coincidentally.
(For those of you not following along, I stopped the beeps on Wednesday morning, before everyone got here, stay with us please).
"Chad", my only confidant, and I have decided that the beeps need to start again at the first of next week. I'm thinking that they need to last a day or two to get everyone back in the routine and then stop again. I will definitely be putting the annoy-a-tron in a more accessible location so that I don't have to climb up on desks to access it. I'm even considering some type of remote control for it so I can make it beep when I want to.
You'll just have to check back later to see what happens.
There shall be no poll to help me decide how to annoy my co-workers. I will not ask for suggestions. It will be strictly up to my whim and fancy. Much like a benevolent dictator, I will read your comments, maybe even post them, but I will not necessarily do what you wish.

Have a great weekend and try to laugh, preferably at someone else.

Great Fun, The Accomplice, and Almost Busted

On monday, the 21st, my blues were taken away completely. The branch manager finally said something about the beeping, which is just outside his office. He told the secretary that she has a "Mission". She must find the source of the beeping because if he can hear it, it must be driving everyone else crazy. So, she goes on a rampage, tearing through 1 desk that she thinks is the source of the noise. All morning long she is checking the calculator, she finds several old cell phones, unplugs the telephone. Unplugs all the digital cameras that are plugged in in the area. She checks the copy machine. Yet, the beeping continues.
Well, I can hardly contain myself, and decide that I'll let someone else in on what is happening. So, I grabbed on of my co-workers, Chad, name changed to protect the innocent. I take him into the conference room and ask the question, "If I tell you a secret that is not illegal, immoral, unethical, or blasphemous, can you keep the secret?" He asks for how long, and I tell him, "Until it's over." He agrees.
So I let him know that I know the source of the beep. He kind of laughs and says, "And you're just not going to tell anybody?" That's when I turn my laptop to face him and say...."It's me, or more precisely, my Annoy-a-Tron." I then explain to him the subtleties of the device and what is going on. He says he hasn't noticed the beep, and I can't believe it because it is so...so...so...piercing!
Anyway, we gather our composure, because by this time we are both red-faced and out of breath from laughing. We can see the rest of the office through the conference room window (quite soundproof) and they are looking high and low for the source. To no avail!
***
Fast forward to lunch time on Monday. I call "Chad" to ask about something unrelated and he is laughing. Then he tells me this story...
The secretary, Jolie (name changed...yada...yada...yada), has decided that the noise is coming from a little Model T car/clock on one particular desk. So, she proceeds to take the battery out of the car and eventually tears it down to it's component parts and announces: "There, that stopped the beeping!" Chad said that no sooner had those words come out of her mouth that the Annoy-a-Tron did it's deed. A single "beep" from the annoy-a-tron caused a string of words that would make a sailor proud. Oh, how joyful was my Monday!
*****
Fast forward again to Tuesday:
I decided to come to the office early and change locations, just to throw a curve. I moved it about 10 feet toward the center of the office, into another light fixture.
More laughter as the beeps and chirps continue to haunt the unwitting office staff. They are almost tearing this place apart. Chad and I are just giggling, and trying not to fall on the floor laughing. Chad is a fairly large man, and when he tries to keep his laughter in, he shakes quite a bit. He says he's shivering from the cold, but I know the truth.
Late yesterday afternoon, we had a discussion going in the office and one of the guys from the other side of the office came over and was standing on a chair directly under the location of the annoy-a-tron. It made a noise and he pointed almost directly at it's location in the light fixture. Fortunately there is a motion sensor for the alarm within a couple of feet of the light, so they assumed that's what it was and didn't investigate further. Jolie even said, "It's also coming from that (the manager's) office. So I bet it is the motion sensor. I'll call the alarm company tomorrow." OOPS!!! I guess I'd better let it lie for a while.
*****
Now for today. I came in early today to put a stop to the beeps (temporarily) so the alarm company doesn't bust the party. Jolie is convinced it's the alarm system. She says she unplugged the phones and made it stop yesterday, but told the manager about the guy standing directly underneath it and tracking it to the alarm system. It is very peaceful in here now. No beeps or chirps.

I asked yesterday, but nobody could tell me how to spell ....I think it's like this: bwahahahahahahahahaha

My shrine to Fred Thompson has been dismantled due to his pulling out of the race yesterday. You mean I may HAVE to vote for a Mor(m)on? I'm certainly not going to waste a vote on an independent. Learned that lesson from my Perot vote.

A new annoy-ee

Yesterday, one of the guys from the office that has been out for a while, traveling, was back!
It was his first day to be exposed to the annoy-a-tron, and I think he liked it...NOT!
He was asking people, "What is that sound?" and saying "It sounds like a bomb's about to go off in here."
He was particularly annoyed by the chirping sound and not so much by the beep, though he noticed both and commented that they were different.

I have to also mention that my bro. hooked me up with a calendar last year called "Wacky Website-a-day" calendar. Yesterday's website was www.smashmyxbox.com which is a site where these guys take up donations to buy the newest gadgets (Wii's, IPod's, xboxes) on the day they are released, and then videotape themselves smashing them to pieces in front of horrified techno-geeks that have waited at the store for days. I can't see the video on my work computer, but I'm going to watch it at lunch on my personal computer since Wendy's now has FREE WIFI and I am still on dialup (28.8 mindnumbing k) at home.

Now, here are some random letters, NUMBERS AND SYMBOLS (oops accidentally hit caps lock): agoi4e9vnafqfqqigt2o412t-rwnwlrbk9/EFQASJF235$#t^$^

Oh, last thing....I messed with Holden and Ashleigh's minds with this little joke this morning:

Q: If you mother is a faucet, and your daddy is a sink, how many pancakes does it take to cover a golf ball?
A: Red. Because motorcycles don't have doors.

Blue Day

It is with great sadness that I make this entry today. Not sadness that my brother is getting married. Not sadness that he has asked me to perform some DJ magic at the wedding. Not sadness that he has asked me to be a part of the ceremony.
No, my sadness today is due to the fact that the incessant beeping of the annoy-a-tron is being largely ignored by my co-workers. I would go into more detail, but I am tired and sad.
I will be moving it to a louder location in the next few days and hope that it will become more annoying and hated.

I had to cut the toenails on my pinky toes the other day because they had grow, or maybe broken off at a weird angle, and both were as sharp as razor blades...fairly dull razor blades, but they could have caused a nasty scratch. Got that taken care of in about five minutes and all is well with my feet.

My awesome brother gave me one of these for Christmas. It is from thinkgeek.com and is called, appropriately, The Annoy-A-Tron. It emits 1 of 2 sounds, either a beep or a series of short beeps, at random times from 1-8 minutes apart. It has a magnet imbedded so it can be stuck in any number of places. I have chosen a secret place in my office. I will not disclose the location in case one of my co-workers finds this blog.

I put it into service on 12/24/07. I was off work on 12/25 and did not return until 12/31. When I returned, I was thrilled to see an e-mail from a co-worker trying to find out what the beeping was. She offered to buy a coke for whoever located it. It is still beeping.

I hear it go off while I'm sitting at my desk and I just have to giggle to myself like a little school girl at a slumber party.

This is THE greatest gift (other than my salvation, of course) that I have ever received. I am usually not mean-spirited and a prankster...wait, yes I am. Scratch that. Anyway, it really makes me happy to report that the device has not been found. Though, interest in finding the source has waned somewhat. I plan to move it from it's current location to a location that I had it before so it will be much, much louder and hopefully more annoying.

The best part about the annoy-a-tron is that the sound is so hard to locate. Sometimes it sounds like it's right here in my cubicle, and sometimes it sounds like it's on the other side of the office.

There will be more to come.